[motorcycle.com] - Tomfoolery – What Would Jesus Ride?

Discussion in 'Motorcycling News' started by Newsbot, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. Newsbot

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    My wife, Maria, loves going on motorcycle rides. Our second date was a motorcycle ride where she proved herself a fearless, adrenalin junkie. We hadn’t been on a ride together for a while, so last Saturday, we pulled the 2015 FZ-09 outta the garage and went for a spin around SoCal.

    Returning home, I learned that instead of traveling the short distance to her parent’s house for Easter, the family was gathering at her brother’s place in Corona. Getting from Long Beach to Corona demands traversing State Route 91. This particular highway is notorious for brutal commute times during regular work days, let alone a holiday weekend. “Can we ride a motorcycle to Corona,” I asked, already knowing the answer. “No,” she replied.

    [​IMG]It’s no secret what I do for a living. I’ve ridden motorcycles to her parent’s house. They’ve heard stories of Maria and I going on rides together. But regardless of the facts, Maria will not let her parents see her actively riding a motorcycle. “I don’t want them to worry,” is her reasoning. So, instead of joyfully lane-splitting our way through traffic on a beautiful SoCal Easter day, cutting the commute time in half on our round-trip to Corona, we spent about double the time it’d normally take to drive to Corona miserably sitting in traffic.

    Surprisingly, I only saw maybe three motorcycles Easter Sunday. But these sightings combined with the ample amount of time I had on my hands sitting in stop-and-go traffic provided me the opportunity to ponder the importance of Easter.

    There seems to be a lot of bias out there toward Jesus preferring V-Twins and chrome to sportier forms of two-wheelers. According to the variety of WWJR T-shirts available you’d think JC spent the 40 days after his resurrection tooling around Jerusalem on a Hog. Lest ye not confuse 1903 AD with 3 AD.


    “I like to picture Jesus in a Tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, ‘I wanna be formal … but I’m here to party too.’ Cause I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.”
    –Cal Naughton Jr.​

    Maybe it’s the long hair and beard giving people the visual impression that JC would more likely be comfortable in a recumbent pose, gracefully cruising the countryside, the slow pace allowing him time to appreciate his Father’s creations.

    Considering the popularity of beards among the hipster crowd, an argument could be made for JC asking Roland Sands to craft a nice custom cafe CB450 for him to ride to The One Motorcycle Show. He’d be the first person to easily slip into a pair of skinny jeans – a true miracle!


    “I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.” –Walker Bobby.

    If he were pilgrimaging, spreading the word of God to the far corners of the globe, he may want to traverse those numerous miles in the comfort of a Goldwing or K1600GTL. Expensive rigs as these, however, may deliver the wrong message. He did enter Jerusalem as the King of Israel aboard a donkey.


    “I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle’s wings. And singing lead vocal for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, a angel band. And I’m in the front row and I’m hammered drunk.”
    –Cal Naughton Jr.​

    Being that JC walked on water, you have to consider him a performance junkie. I found this bible verse from the book of Hebrews depicting JC as the #1 plate holder for some kind of biblical 24 Hours of Le Mans: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus.

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    Although this image doesn’t support the passage, you find evidence in the New Testament for ATGATT where in Ephesians there’s mention of “the whole armor of God,” breastplate of righteousness,” and “helmet of salvation.”


    Regardless of your personal motorcycle convictions, JC is, of course, accepting of all motorcyclists and the bikes upon which they choose to ride. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:28.

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